Archive for the Books Category


Posted in Books, Grave News, Heroes, Words on December 5, 2012 by Johnnie

Berenice“Misery is manifold. The wretchedness of earth is multiform. Overreaching the wide horizon as the rainbow, its hues are as various as the hues of that arch, –as distinct too, yet as intimately blended. Overreaching the wide horizon as the rainbow! How is it that from beauty I have derived a type of unloveliness? – from the covenant of peace a simile of sorrow? But as, in ethics, evil is a consequence of good, so, in fact, out of joy is sorrow born. Either the memory of past bliss is the anguish of to-day, or the agonies which are have their origin in the ecstasies which might have been.” EAP – Berenice

“So, that novel you were writing, Johnnie…”

Posted in Advice, Books, Fiction, Words on July 9, 2012 by Johnnie

OK, I admit it. From both sides, mine and yours, this looks like an utter failure. I am the procrastinator’s procrastinator, I could make up excuses until the cows don’t bother their arses coming home anymore, and I could walk around daydreaming all day of being that person I always wanted to be since I was about 8 – The Novelist.

I’ve started four novels: I finished one to third draft; I half-wrote another, which expired along with the laptop it was written on (backing up, I know, I know); and I have begun two others, currently in “progress” on different computers. All of them have madly-scrawled synopses, which look, on the page, every bit as mad and unfathomable as their creator; only I know they make perfect sense – until I start to write them and try fitting all the pieces together, that is. Still, I have faith in the ideas – if not my ability to sit down for sustained periods and complete them. Continue reading

I’m your Venus (in blurs)

Posted in Books, Dreams, Geeks on April 30, 2012 by Johnnie


Did you ever have a dream that was so great, you not only woke up annoyed that it wasn’t finished, but sincerely hoped you could pick it up where you left off the following night? And did you then rack your brain trying to remember exactly what made it so great, only to find that it kept draining down the plughole of your memory? Well that was me this morning.

When I say “morning”, it was when I normally get up for work – at a time which, I gather, most people still refer to as “night”. But, for what seemed like the previous few hours, I had been paying a visit to someone whom I knew to be the only human being living on Venus. I didn’t know him personally, I don’t know why I got to go and visit him, and I can’t really remember why I wanted to (I’m pretending it was a journalistic assignment but it was probably curiosity/nosiness), but there I was, anyway.

Venus, I can report, was very dark and scary – hellish, in fact.

Continue reading

My first “novel” – Never Kill Farmers

Posted in Books, Fiction on January 8, 2012 by Johnnie

It was a morning like any other.  I was sitting at the breakfast table, the television flickering and droning behind me, and I was still trying to figure out why Anne Diamond was my dad’s fantasy woman.  In front of me, Bill (for it was he) failed to notice the corn flakes falling from his spoon, and splatting into the bowl below, as he gawped at Miss Diamond in one of her “trendy” jumpers.  I could hear her laughing behind me, laughing at everything her guest (probably Stan Boardman or someone like that) said, despite none of it being remotely funny.  Meanwhile, I noticed my own corn flakes were revolting.

     ‘Mum, the milk’s sour’ I complained. 

     ‘I should hope so,’ she said.  ‘It’s been maturing in the cupboard for a week.’

     There was a break for the adverts in TV AM, so Bill picked up his giant Herald, and began laughing like an executive, pretending he understood the articles.  ‘Hmm,’ he said.  ‘I see things are dicey in Lebanon.’

     ‘How do you mean “dicey”?’ I asked.

     He coughed, as he turned the page.  ‘You know, like wee cubes.’

     It was then I decided to leave home.  Within ten minutes I had packed a case and left through the back door via the kitchen.  Neither of my parents appeared to notice me leaving.

So began Never Kill Farmers, my juvenile foray into novel writing.  Continue reading


Posted in Books, Dreams, Words on September 24, 2010 by Johnnie

O would some Power the gift to give us

To see ourselves as others see us!

It would from many a blunder free us,

And foolish notion:

What airs in dress and gait would leave us,

And even devotion!

Robert Burns

Judging the book by its cover

Posted in Books, Pointless Nostalgia, Unwanted Comebacks on August 16, 2010 by Johnnie

My eldest is making her way through her first Secret Seven book.  So far, very little has happened; three chapters in and they still haven’t come across the “spooky old house in the snow” the jacket blurb promised.  We get the impression she’s not enjoying it much but upwards and onwards.  She might be a Barbie and Disney princess addict (which is more about the dressing up clothes anyway) but she’s not a fan of genteel stories involving copious buns and homemade jam, she’s more thrilled by dark, stormy, uncanny adventure stories.  She watches Doctor Who on repeat, chooses to watch Indiana Jones films and is now obsessed with BBC’s Sherlock – and has been asking about Sherlock Holmes books.  She’s a modern child, fluff, the quaint and the genteel just won’t cut it.  So, are Enid Blyton’s books now outdated to her generation? Continue reading

Strange phenomena

Posted in Books, Music, Radio on August 5, 2010 by Johnnie

It’s quarter of a century since Kate Bush released her landmark single, ‘Running Up That Hill’.  That’s scary.  I can’t quite believe it’s been that long, but it’s true.  I was 16 when it came out, and listening to it today, it still sounds box-fresh.  In 1985, Kate Bush was a solid fixture in my life and had been for as long as I had loved music.

We are celebrating the anniversary this weekend on Phantom 105.2’s The Kiosk, with Nadine interviewing Graeme Thomson, author of new biography Under The Ivy: The Life & Music of Kate Bush.  I’ve been looking forward to this book.  Kate Bush is one of popular music’s most fascinating artists on practically every level.  There’s an otherworldliness to her work and background, something distinctly strange and just out of reach about her – and something I’ve never truly wanted to understand in case it breaks the spell.

I’ve been under her spell since I was 9.  My first single purchase was ‘Wuthering Heights’ in 1978.  A first music purchase is a significant moment in anyone’s life, of course, but buying a 7″ single was odd for me because I didn’t own a record player.  It was also the only single I owned until 1980.  I wasn’t the sort of child who asked for pocket money either, so a bit of saving (and a lot of copper) went into getting it.  Continue reading


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 36 other followers