Fork of the Devil….

I can’t eat with this fork. It’s way too scary.  I can barely look at it, in fact, and it was an act of the most astonishing bravery for me to even photograph it and post it on here.  You may think this is silly but, like all of you, I really can’t help what scares me.  Some people hate heights; some are terrified of spiders; others lose the use of their sphincters at the sight of a clown.  Me, I get diabolical shivers at the mere existence of this hideous trident, this satanic pitchfork, this instrument of hellish indulgence. 

It can only have been fashioned for those damned enough to already enjoy Pot Noodle.  I need at least four prongs for a fork not to be evil.  One prong is Peeping Tom; two is Children of the Corn; three is The Omen; four is The Godfather.  I just thought it would help me sleep to share this with you.

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