In what will be seen as great news in the twin tracksuit capitals of the world, Robbie Keane from “out in” Tallaght, Dublin, has signed for Liverpooel in a €24m deal. In spite of Spurs’ valiant efforts to stop the Republic of Ireland striker making a cultural stereotype out of himself, Keane will return to his childhood and run around wearing the shirt of his chosen English heroes. Expect several things to come out of this: Adidas to vastly increase its share in the Irish market; Spurs to suddenly lose a few of its “die-hard” Irish fans; a general upsurge in local punters who claim they have “always supported” Liverpooel; “out in” Tallaght to be twinned with Toxteth at long last; Keane to be referred to as ‘the new Kenny Dalglish’ – particularly by those who have to subtitle his TV interviews; Dominos Pizza to consider proposing a sponsorship deal; and, a little further down the line, Keane to start making louder noises about how he would like to “end his career” at Celtic.
I Have Grave News 
Hey! Just discovered your blog through Jiml! Wohoo, welcome to the blogosphere Mr Craig. Hope you’re keeping well, look forward to reading your stuff!
X
It’s only Nathalie Marquez Courtney! How are you keeping? I would pop into the U office to visit you but Jen and Shauna have, of course, barred me. Can’t blame them. Thank you for your welcome, I clearly have a lot to catch up on – so expect to be read and commented upon thyself.
Likewise Johnnie! Well done on the blog! You kept this quiet!