Pointless Nostalgia: Public Information Films

Apologies for repeating myself, but in the previous Pointless Nostalgia I mentioned those emails we all keep getting, about how on earth danger-loving children from the 1970s survived to tell the tale. Well, I’ve just remembered how – in Britain, we had Public Information Films. The government of the day were so concerned about our […]

Viola Watch: We’re There

Slavia Prague 0 Fiorentina 0 (agg. 0-2) Fiorentina are finally back in the Champions League, after an absence of eight years. A 0-0 draw with Slavia, in which the Viola had the better of the game, means that they return to the competition in which they last played in March 2000, when they drew 3-3 […]

American… Pizzas

A colleague has got me thinking, in the way that colleagues often do – by inadvertently riling me. The poor blighter asked, in all innocent ignorance, “how do they make ‘pizza sauce’ in Italy?” Pizza sauce? Sauce? They don’t use sauce, they use tomatoes. Fret not, dear reader, I didn’t start ranting at him, I thought I’d do it here […]

‘Ping pong is coming home’, apparently

I’m not sure what I found most bewildering on my TV last night – a smirking Boris Johnson waving the Olympic flag and raving about table tennis, or the sight of thousands of British people leaving their television sets to go out into the street and celebrate the start of Britain’s Olympic reign. Actually, that’s just […]

Bits Of Me Are Falling Apart by William Leith

Confessions of the ultimate hypochondriac Sunday Business Post, 17 August 2008 We are all doomed. Or, at least, those of us unfortunate enough to be born male now know how doomed we are. After 202 pages of Bits Of Me Are Falling Apart, a day in the life, body and head of William Leith, we’re […]

That new Oasis drivel

Oasis are back – and they’re worse than ever. They’ve been finding it harder to get away with their shameful, career-long dearth of ideas in recent years but, even by their own execrable standards, their forthcoming single, ‘The Shock of the Lightning’ has to be a career low. “Love is a time machine/ Up on the silver screen/ It’s all in […]

FIFA Come To Chelsea’s Moral Rescue By Mugging Mutu

The old sledgehammer to crack a nut trick. Fifa have ordered Adrian Mutu to pay Chelsea £13.68 million in compensation following his positive test for cocaine while at Stamford Bridge in 2005. There are too many annoying aspects to this act of scapegoating but this appears to be completely lost on Chelsea and their lawyers, who […]

About Face

Back in 2008, I had a thoroughly enjoyable stint as male columnist for U Magazine. After this article was originally published, in April 2008, I was charmed to receive a large box of male grooming products from Nivea For Men. I have just rediscovered the ‘Thank You’ mail I intended to send them but failed […]

Viola Watch: One Foot In The Champions League

Fiorentina 2 Slavia Prague 0 A quite unbelievable 30-yard free-kick from Adrian Mutu and an Alberto Gilardino header, and we’re half way to the Champions League. Hail Cesare Prandelli, the world’s finest and most gentlemanly coach. Six years ago, we were in Serie D. Forza Viola!

Pointless Nostalgia: Creamola Foam

I keep getting those emails from people which tell you that if you grew up in ’60s, ’70s or ’80s, you should, by rights, be dead by now because, whereas children these days are wrapped in cotton wool by health and safety “gone mad” and the “nanny state”, we were allowed to go out to […]