Archive for October, 2009

‘Mystery’ Of The Basement Jacks

Posted in Grave News on October 30, 2009 by Johnnie

toiletDesperate times call for desperate crimes.  But now, another kind of ‘desperate’ have nowhere to turn.  In a case that’s baffling even the most astute and eagle-eyed amongst us, the gentleman’s toilet seat in the office block I ‘frequent’ has been stolen. It’s used by at least three separate businesses in the block and also, no doubt, by several visitors, delivery men and couriers every day.  While it’s always tempting to believe that a stranger is responsible for such an opportunist crime, I have too much bitter experience of internal theft in the workplace to automatically believe that one.

Unfortunately, the “security” staff who “patrol” the industrial estate are as much use as a pair of glass buttocks.  Continue reading

Well, I’ll be bugguered

Posted in Favourite Publications on October 15, 2009 by Johnnie


Great crime prevention advice for the good burghuers (sic) of Monaghan in this weekend’s Post Perhaps the writer of this headline is obsessively over-fond of one my favourite crap jokes: Continue reading

That Knock apparition in full…

Posted in Ecumenical Matters on October 14, 2009 by Johnnie

Amazing footage of 5000 people all staring at the sky, many of whom claim they saw the sun “dancing”.  If you look closely you can just about make out… Continue reading

Snark by David Denby

Posted in Books on October 13, 2009 by Johnnie

Nastiness Is A Thing Called Snark

Sunday Business Post, 11th October 2009

snarkWhat is the lowest form of wit? What has replaced the golden age of satire, spoof, burlesque and ingeniously dark comedy? According to David Denby, it’s something known as ‘snark’ -a phenomenon he ominously calls the ‘‘angry fanfare attending journalism’s decline’’.

Denby is a film critic for the New Yorker by trade, but here he turns his critical faculties to issues of style -specifically, the proliferation of a particular type of abuse, which he describes as ‘‘personal insult, low, teasing, rug-pulling, finger-pointing, snide, obvious and knowing’’.

One of Denby’s chief contentions is that snark -a term borrowed from Lewis Carroll –  has grown in popularity in recent years due to the internet.  He demonstrates how blogs and social networking sites like Twitter have become tools for those who simply wish to draw attention to themselves by being as vile and insulting as possible, often without substance or morality to back up their ‘argument’.  In cases like these, where abuse goes viral or becomes self-replicating, the object of the ‘snarking’ can fall victim to a sustained and widespread campaign of low insults – much of it dished out entirely anonymously. Continue reading

Is this the worst record ever made?

Posted in Music, Pointless Nostalgia on October 13, 2009 by Johnnie

It has to be.  Andrew Ridgeley’s 1990 ‘comeback’ single Shake truly is car crash stuff.  The video is appropriately nasty, but ignore it if you can and just listen to the song: after the cak-handed, overwrought acoustic intro, there’s this ‘intriguing’ and ‘dramatic’ pregnant pause – during which, it seems, Ridgeley trips up and falls into a drum kit.  Incredibly, they kept that bit in the final recording and somehow passed it off as a real drum intro.

Few remember Ridgeley’s solo debut (and, thus far, only) album Son Of Albert.  Fewer still own it, or remember it with any affection whatsoever.  Arguably, it is the the worst record ever made – of course, we’re not allowed to say that accolade applies to Freddie Mercury’s Mr Bad Guy anymore, because he’s dead.  But that’s another discussion for another day. Continue reading

They Don’t Write Them Like They Used To…

Posted in Music, Pointless Nostalgia, Star "Style" on October 8, 2009 by Johnnie

The über stylish German act, Goombay Dance Band, featuring the incomparable Oliver Bendt, performing their only UK hit, Seven Tears.  This spent three weeks at Number One in 1981.  Wouldn’t happen nowadays.

Easy Food Recipes of the Month!

Posted in Favourite Publications, Food & Drink on October 7, 2009 by Johnnie

Gourmet croissant

As I’ve mentioned before, I have a slight weakness for Easy Food magazine, the monthly step-by-tiny-step guide for novices of the fine culinary arts of tin opening, bread browning and kettle operating. 

The October ‘Halloween Special’ contains some appropriately horrifying dishes with which you can easily ruin even the most voracious of appetites. But before we get all complicated, let me introduce to their delightful recipe for Ham And Cheese CroissantsContinue reading