Banking – It Makes You Go Blind

Oh the poor bankers.  It’s tragic that, after years of charging us to use our own money and then using the profits to give it all away to idiots who couldn’t afford to pay it back, they suddenly found themselves in something of a mire.  Now, they not only wanted to be bailed out, they actually expected […]

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“Spanking Carol Smillie”

Oh dear, it seems that there is a person, or are persons, who keep stumbling across this blog by Googling the words “spanking Carol Smillie” – on a remarkably consistent basis too.  I’m not sure if these are the workings of a weird cult, or simply nerds trying to investigate some hot internet urban myth, but this search seems to have […]

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Planet Of The Apes

Today sees the Irish release of Fight Like Apes‘ debut album, Fight Like Apes And The Mystery Of The Golden Medallion. For me, and not to over-state the case, this release is a major milestone in Irish music history.  For the current pop generation, FLApes represent something that is truly theirs; in sound, image and […]

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Conspicuous Consumers: (Sir) George Martin

It was a sticky, early-summer’s morning in 1992, in the air-con-free Our Price, Selfridges concession; as usual, there was only a mother and child browsing the racks, the place was spotless and well-ordered, and my manager was making the soporific staff rearrange the dust around the till area.  It was just then that this tall, upright, elegant and highly distinguished man […]

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Heard About Your Band…

As the colleges go back, new students all over Ireland will start forming bands to distract themselves from study.  I do wonder if it’s really worth all their effort, though.  As Wilde said, “we are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”  It’s a safe bet that Oscar didn’t […]

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The Second Flush Of Youth

Originally published in U MAGAZINE in December 2007 Internet shopping is great, isn’t it? Why would anyone bother to go out to actual shops, where you run the risk of frostbite, turning the balls of your feet to puree, getting your face elbowed in queues or being forced to have lunch in Starbucks, when you […]

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Mail Delivery

A doffed hat to Julian West of Dublin for his letter to The Irish Daily Mail today, Monday 22nd September.  With reference to the story about the twelve-year-old Limerick girl alleged to have stolen a van and rammed a Garda car following a high-speed chase through the city centre last week, Mr West wrote: “It’s not surprising […]

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The Grim Tooth of the Matter

The Tooth Fairy has become the latest victim of the economic downturn.  British milk producer Cravendale says that the average amount she’s leaving left under pillows in exchange for a tooth has dropped from £1.22 to 87p in the past six months.  The figures also show that 38% of British children do not get any money […]

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