Archive for the Favourite Publications Category

New Year, new list of ill-conceived, unachievable goals – or not

Posted in Advice, Favourite Publications, Words on January 12, 2014 by Johnnie

Sic itur ad astra

Every Sunday, I sit on my favourite armchair for approximately seven minutes (an unscientific average) and feel truly excited and inspired by the possibilities within my grasp. There’s a reason why this happens. I have flicked through my favourite sections of the Sunday papers for those seven minutes, made a mental reminder to return to my favourite parts of those sections, noted anything new or surprising that should get my full attention later, become unnecessarily lost in new fashion trends, and then I put it all down, knowing that other things require my immediate attention: usually work deadlines, grocery shopping and breakfast. Yet, as I set about those tasks, the nuggets of culture and indulgence I glimpsed for those few minutes remain snapping, crackling and popping in my head, filling me full of optimism and belief – a personal, silent thrill of assurance that everything I used to think was inevitable and just around the corner in life really are there for the taking.

Then work starts, each line of it pricking my enthusiasm with its own individual fishing hook, until my soul is perforated and dragged down, and my optimism bleeds and flows, halal-style, into the gutter of drudgery. Sunday morning begins as the tremulous launch pad of impending greatness, but soon darkens and creeps into Sunday afternoon, which begins as the precipice beyond which lies the piercing stalagmites of Monday and the soul-sapping, inspiration-dampening week ahead.

It’s a little bit like New Year’s resolutions: the gusto and bluster of those inebriated self-promises generally withers and dies within a few seconds’ exposure to reality, routine and the supermarket crisp aisle.

So, in 2014, I’m going to set myself some better, more realistic goals. Healthier, happier, more fulfilled. That’ll be me.

Here we are, then: Continue reading

The overdue burial

Posted in Favourite Publications, Radio, TV, Words on April 21, 2013 by Johnnie

new lifeIn the grand scheme of things, embarking on a Facebook ‘friend’ cull is no big deal. Things change, people move on, acquaintances are fleeting and you’re essentially doing others a favour by ever-so-slightly lightening their burdens. You know the people who don’t ‘like’ anything you say, you know the people who probably ‘hid’ your updates some years ago. Basically, the people who can’t be arsed with you.

All you’re admitting is that, perhaps like your own sad, failed pop career or other youthful crush, clinging on to the past and trying breath life into its sagging, rotting cadaver is a pointless and tragic exercise. You need to move on, break the chains, and rejoice in hearing the Looney Tunes-style whistle as this particularly uncomfortable baggage falls off its cliff edge and moments later makes a satisfyingly distant thud. Continue reading

Old rope on a soap

Posted in Favourite Publications, Geeks, TV on February 7, 2012 by Johnnie

Oh dear.  Slippers: check.  Cardie: check.  Pipe: definitely on its way.

Today I wrote an email to the editor of venerable Irish weekly Woman’s Way to correct, in as nerdy a manner as one could possibly achieve, one of their little trivia boxes on their soap pages.  Titled ‘The Rules of Soapland’, it stated that, unlike in real life, no two soap characters will have the same first name.  Much as I was tempted to let that go and turn the page, I couldn’t help the little Trekkie at the back of my brain shouting: “Well, actuallaay, in point of fact…” Continue reading

It’s WAR on The Kiosk next Saturday…

Posted in Favourite Publications, Geeks, Radio on December 4, 2010 by Johnnie

At 11am on Saturday 11th December 2010 on Phantom 105.2 – It’s WAR as teams representing these two venerable publications lock horns in The Kiosk Quiz of the Year.

It promises to be a great competition – not only for the teams but for a lucky Kiosk listener. We have a great prize for one listener who correctly predicts the winner of the quiz: a €200 gift voucher from EASONS – The perfect place for all your gifts this Christmas. See the bottom of this post for more details.

Team Ticket vs Team Day & Night

“We’re going to MURDER them. And then laugh. Out loud. And point our fingers at them. And laugh again.” – Jim Carroll

“Jim who? He’ll be Off the Record after this.” – John Meagher

Jim Carroll vs. John Meagher

Sinéad Gleeson vs. Nialler9

Lauren Murphy vs. Eamon Sweeney

Continue reading

Time to call in pest control

Posted in Favourite Publications, TV, Unwanted Comebacks on October 4, 2010 by Johnnie

I’m sure Irish News Of The World readers are a discerning bunch but surely even the most apathetic of them have their limits.  The new ad for the paper is little short of astonishing, even in a country which has experienced its fair share of shocks lately.

‘Typical’ rheumy-eyed NOTW readers open their fridge and kitchen cupboards of a Sunday morning to find an infestation of various types of pest.  The first three would be bad enough but the fourth is none other than the former Taoiseach, Bertie Ahern, in his latest guise as a ‘roving’ football reporter.  For anyone who doesn’t know, doesn’t care or may simply have forgotten, he wasn’t just the leader of this country a long time ago, he was elected leader of this country at the last general election. Continue reading

Ham roll with the changes?

Posted in Favourite Publications, Music, New Stuff, Star "Style" on September 30, 2010 by Johnnie

How did I miss this?  Have Ham Sandwich have done a ‘Sugababes’ and changed their entire line-up?  This photo beside the review of their new album White Fox in this morning’s Metro Herald is the first I’ve heard of it. 

Either that, or it’s the first published result of a wacky new Hot Press photoshoot, where Podge and Niamh impersonate famous Irish presenter duos.  Continue reading

Hot stuff..?

Posted in Favourite Publications, Rude Things on September 11, 2010 by Johnnie

This is how they sell fires and stoves to Corkonians.  Clearly, they believe that sex sells, and there’s no expiry date.  I bet you when Giovanni Trapattoni took over coaching the Irish football squad, he never thought his Italian charms would be exploited in quite this way.  What a role model – Berlusconi, take note. Continue reading