Grills & Boys

Originally published in U Magazine, June 2008 Can you get the stench of burning flesh in the air? It’s that time of year again. Any day now, invitations to friends’ barbecues will come flooding in. No one invites you to dinner during this period, no one says they’re having a few nibbles and cocktails in their […]

I’m always touched by your presents, dear

Hundreds of Christmases ago, before DVDs were invented, I bought someone the VHS of Wallace and Gromit’s The Wrong Trousers. It turned out to be the wrong Christmas present. “I’ve already got this,” she said glumly. Apparently, I hadn’t listened properly, although, due to her subsequent, door-slamming, stomp off to her room, I was left […]

Grills & Boys

Mamma Mia

U Magazine, March 2008 Dear Mum, As it’s soon to be Mothering Sunday, the day in which all us kids stop what we’re doing to honour the woman who brought us into the world and made us the treasures we are today, I thought it was a good time to write a little appreciation of […]

The Valentine’s Massacre

Originally published in U Magazine, February 2008 If there’s one thing most women desire of their men, to show them just how loving, caring, sensitive and thoughtful they are, it’s a spontaneous display of romance. Presumably that’s why St Valentine’s Day was invented – it’s the most heralded, advertised, hyped and commercial piece of romantic […]

The Road To Hell…

Originally published in U Magazine, December 2007 Like your first love, your first cigar and your first electric shock, you never forget your first New Year’s Resolution. When I was six, I resolved to get to the moon. I’d seen it done on telly and we even sang a song about it in school, I […]

The Nightmare Before Christmas

Originally published in U MAGAZINE, December 2007 Dear Johnnie Did you know that girls spend at least 6 weeks before Christmas hinting at what they want you to buy them? Men say they never know what to get. Is it because: A They’re deaf B They’re stupid; or C They don’t care enough to listen […]

U Beauties!

The ever-wonderful U Magazine just got even more wonderful. Last night, it won the PPA Consumer Magazine of the Year 2008 award. Congratulations to all the lassies in the office, especially my ed Jennifer Stevens, and deputy eds Shauna O’Halloran and Martha Connolly (and of course my long-time colleague Nathalie Marquez Courtney who is now […]

Make Up The Break Up

From U Magazine, May 2008 We’ve been rumbled – again. Word has seemingly leaked out on a subject that men conspiratorially assumed to be a trade secret. Tracing the source of the leak will be a tough job but my guess is it was some kind of honey trap – a drunken buffoon blabbing all […]

Honestly, I’m Fine With It…

Originally published in U Magazine, August 2007 My good friend, the self-elected font of all knowledge on the subject of women, has surpassed himself again. You can tell what an expert he is by how sweet he seems when he and his beloved are together – followed by how vitriolic he is about her as […]