Archive for November, 2009

Don’t make fun of Daddy’s choice…

Posted in Grave News on November 18, 2009 by Johnnie

Oops, paperMy daughters have this friend, a wee boy, who turned 2 last week.  They were invited to his birthday party, so the usual, excitable discussions and debates ensued on what present to buy him.   Youngest daughter thought the he would like something train-related, based on her own ideas of what wee boys like. So, train-related products (one of which came in a parent-pleasing 56 pieces) were purchased.  While the girls set about designing the birthday card, daddy went to the local convenience store for some wrapping paper – what could possibly go awry?  Continue reading

Is there NOTHING they don’t make for chavs these days..?

Posted in Grave News, Travel on November 16, 2009 by Johnnie


Do you enjoy listening to the choons of Scooter emanating from some spotty youth’s car at traffic lights outside shopping centres?  Are you disappointed when the souped-up Corsa, Punto or Saxo speeds off, leaving you hankering after more happy hardcore jumpstyle Eurobilge?  Well, help is at hand, with the SCOOTER DELUXE SOUNDMASTER, which offers a proper, access-all-areas, non-stop sound for skangers on scooters and their many appreciative fans.  According to the manufacturer: Continue reading

The Dirty 9s – Lucy Opus

Posted in Music on November 13, 2009 by Johnnie

This twisterrific opus is the new single from marvellous young Dublin band The Dirty 9s, from whom we expect even greater things in 2010.  ‘Tis out this very day and can be downloaded right here. Take it away, chaps.

What is it with you people and “The End”?

Posted in Grave News on November 11, 2009 by Johnnie

FinYou know who you are, I’m talking to you. The sort of people who, back in the 1960s and ’70s, would go around wearing a sandwich board bearing the legend, “THE END IS NIGH”.  Nowadays, you hide indoors, sitting on the internet wearing nothing but your old Y-fronts and a string vest, but you’re no less doomladen than your predecessors.  Hark! A bell!  For whom does the bell toll?  Well, ting.  Yes, your microwaved meal for one is ready – go fetch.

Seriously now, the world’s not going to end, we’re not all going to die at the same time and (you’re not going to believe this, but I’m going to put it out there anyway) 2010 is… Just. A. Fil-um. Continue reading

Basement Jacks-Gate – problem fixed…

Posted in Grave News on November 6, 2009 by Johnnie



Well, the self-appointed security ‘gaffer’ has thrown in the towel.  As mentioned here last week, my office’s gent’s toilet seat was stolen by person(s) unknown.  While expecting our marauding Mr DayGlo Jacket carpark attendant to conduct a thorough investigation via his bluetooth earpiece, no doubt twitching his moustache, Poirot-like, in the process, it seems that the scoundrel responsible has eluded him. 

So, here he is, forced into fitting a new one – Continue reading

Crazy world, crazy guys

Posted in Favourite Publications, Music on November 4, 2009 by Johnnie

Da Aslan

Halloween guises suit some people more than others, but surely none better than Aslan.  The Dublin band “rocked” Trim during the festivities while dressed as a rather convincing  jazz sextet, “accordion” to this photo in the Meath Post. Continue reading

Another Snore Patrol Best Of, already…

Posted in Grave News, Music on November 4, 2009 by Johnnie

Best Audience EVER...Hard on the heels of their Up To Now compilation, Scotland’s, Norn Iron’s, Britain’s, Ireland’s, Europe’s and SouthYemen’s finest band ever Snow Patrol are set to release a double spoken-word album* of singer Gary Lightbody’s endless platitudes to audiences all over the world.

His stock, crowd-pleasing utterances, in which he compliments the size or quality of any given venue or audience, have charmed armies of the converted for years. No matter the occasion, he seems never to tire of telling crowds from Belfast to Baranca, that they are simply the “best audience ever”. Continue reading