Scared of clowns?

Perhaps you ought to be, kids.

I’m always touched by your presents, dear

Hundreds of Christmases ago, before DVDs were invented, I bought someone the VHS of Wallace and Gromit’s The Wrong Trousers. It turned out to be the wrong Christmas present. “I’ve already got this,” she said glumly. Apparently, I hadn’t listened properly, although, due to her subsequent, door-slamming, stomp off to her room, I was left […]

You can’t always get what you want, but…

In 2004, I elected to take voluntary redundancy from a job which had sapped my personality, soul and energy for too long. Ultimately, while others just got on with things, I thought too long and hard about them, became too bitter, narky and spiteful. I had an imperceptible patience threshold which too many people took […]

Liverpoo-el literacy “ledgends”

As Liverpoo-el fans who might form part of my friends and family will doubtless agree, I have not gloated once about Fiorentina’s glorious double victory over them in the Champions League group. And nor will I; I’ll simply celebrate on my own – as Viola fans are a bit thin on the ground ’round my way, […]

Michael McIntyre denies he’s bland

It might be difficult to fathom but there are people out there who don’t find Michael McIntyre funny. Worse still, some have even suggested his routines are inoffensive and “middle class” in nature. So, in an effort to “lash out” at these accusations, McIntyre has given his side of the argument in an interview with […]