Worst. Santa. Ever.

As if getting old and being stuck in hospital isn’t miserable enough.  You get all the way to the final few years of your life before they break the news to you that not only is Santa not fat, “he”‘s actually a woman.  I mean, surely those well-meaning folk from the Positive Ageing Group could’ve raked up some jolly, overweight male to keep the dream alive for those for whom this may have been the ultimate festive season?  Or even a slender man prepared to bulk himself out by strapping a couple of pillows to his midriff?  

But no, they appear to have gone for the old, “ah, they’ll never notice it’s not the real Santa” routine and palmed them off with the hospital dinner lady, the one who normally boils their ham, potatoes, carrots and tea in the same giant vat.  Bless their hearts, our elderly surely deserve better than this?

Good job the photographer had gone home before the Positive Ageing people staged their nativity play for the ‘guests’ at Midleton Hospital.  It featured Mary (played by 57-year-old mother of nine, Deirdre McSweeney), aided by Joseph (played by a 3-year-old Irish setter called Hopper), giving birth to the Son of God, Messiah and founder of Christianity, Jesus (played by a butternut squash).  I just wish Peter Crawley had been there to witness it.

These heartwarming images appeared in the new edition of East Cork Journal.  The photos are also available to buy – simply call 021-4638022 and choose your favourite!