Regular readers (reader, maybe) may recall the recent escapade involving my office’s purloined toilet seat, and its eventual, painstaking replacement by the baseball-capped, bluetoothed, jobsworth pain-in-the-arse who looks after such things in this industrial park. Well, here I present more photographic evidence of his utter inadequacy.
The vertically-challenged amateur pedant and his careless-in-the-community sidekick were in our office not two weeks ago to effortfully replace several blown lightbulbs. Not only did they utterly fail to perform this task with anything suggestive of competence, they also neglected to take their ladder with them, preferring instead to abandon it in the corridor.
Now, as I may have mentioned, this elfin safety freak goes a nice shade of purple and a Lilliputian form of postal if anyone so much as rests a bicycle against a corridor wall. Why, then, has he neglected to shift his ladder from the corridor? Surely this represents a far greater obstruction/ nuisance/ fire-risk/ irritation than a bike? And, lest you or he be in any doubt as to the owner of this ladder – the mean, possessive, officious little runt has actually scrawled his name on it in marker pen. You can also tell it’s his by the way it folds down to only twice his actual size.
Right, rant over. For those of you still with me, feel free to let me know of any other Health & Safety no-nos you can spot in the above picture. No prizes, but seconds of fun guaranteed.
I Have Grave News 
I recognise that picture… perhaps the bright yellow fluorescent health & safety runt who prowls the corridors for abandoned bicycles should do a Fas course on lightbulb mainteance? I’d imagine the jokes are still going there.