Wholly crap, bag o’ shite, etc

Sorry for talking shit yet again, and I know I really should be writing this in a letter to the Southside People or the Daily Mail, but I’ve noticed that there’s a nice new North and South Dublin divide when dealing with dog turds.

On East Wall on the North side, the pavements are, in some lights, gold but mainly brown, with a heavy and regularly replenished covering of dog mess. Some dog turds have been there for many years. If (and this will never happen) there’s some sort of restoration/modernisation of East Wall in future, there may be some environmentalist protests at the destruction of historical dog shit, some of which dates back to pre-boom times.

Meanwhile, on the South side, things are a lot more tasteful.

Dog owners are apparently happy to scrape their mutts’ crap off the pavement and place them in polythene bags – but these bags of jobbies are not the sort of accessory you’d pair with a Louis Vuitton handbag, Prada sunglasses or even a giant skinny mocha latte. No, what you do is wait until the coast is clear then discreetly drop or fling the offending article as if it had never belonged to you in the first place.

So many of these bags are mysteriously appearing dotted around the Foxrock area overnight, they’re becoming known as ‘Plop Circles’. (I made that up.)

So, while I’m directing this at these dog owners who flung dung, I’m also addressing local councillors to ask why on earth there aren’t any dedicated dog waste bins around south side public parks? Mind you, it’s task enough finding a regular bin anywhere outside of the city centre – maybe local councils are happy to be masters of middens.

Help could be at hand, but, naturally, you have to pay for it yourself. I’ve just spotted this product online – so at least you’ll know what they are if you ever see anybody carrying one.

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