Trying a medium for sighs

medium rare

I’m being menaced from the other side. Ghosts are haunting my inbox and after my money.

It’s my own fault. In my anxiety to win a silly online prize (the sort of thing Michael Parkinson sends you free if you subscribe to a 50+ life insurance plan), I stupidly said ‘yes’ when asked if I would like a ‘free’ horoscope. Where’s the harm, I thought? If it’s positive, it’ll put an optimistic bounce in my step; if it’s negative, I’ll dismiss it as the workings of a crank.

To be perfectly honest, I can’t remember what it was about, apart from the fact that she said she knew I’d had it tough lately but there was a pot of money around the corner for me. ‘Tara’ (for it was ‘she’, photo of the ‘model’ who represents her below) signed off as my ‘devoted friend’, asssuring me of her utmost attention at all times. Amazing, a ‘free’ fairy godmother, I thought. Then promptly forgot all about it.

But then the menacing started. She told me she could take evil barriers to my happiness out of my way, performing all sorts of weird rituals. She’d be more than happy to persevere with these too, if only I could help her out – with a ‘donation’ of $79.

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A weekly email would arrive, informing me that soon it would be too late to eradicate these evil influences, I had to act NOW! NOW! At one point she implored me: “I decided to write you one last message of hope. You were on the verge of making a decision that could have changed everything for you, but at the last minute you hesitated. Why, Johnnie? If you don’t act now, you’ll miss an incredible opportunity to finally access the happiness you deserve. I know you’re interested in my help, Johnnie, but I also know you’re having problems at the moment, and I refuse to let money stand in the way of a much happier and more beautiful life for you. To prove how firmly decided I am to help you, I reserved a totally incredible offer for you. But I can only keep it open for 3 days! On January 17th it will be too late, and your chance will have passed you by.”

So obviously, I paid in full.

No, I didn’t. Anyway, I wondered who was behind this nonsense and I found this article here, explaining the scam. I say ‘scam’ because it seems people really have been paying up.  I pity them all.

Anyway, Tara, cheers for your concern. I’m grand, for now. Tell you what, remove the barriers to my fortune and I PROMISE I’ll pay you back as and when. PROMISE.

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