Pointless Nostalgia: The Wonder of Woolies

The shops are still open today but it looks like it’s finally curtains for Woolworth’s. From its origins in New York from 1878, F.W. Woolworth has been a fixture of the British high street for longer than most of our grandparents can remember. It is a genuine institution, a retail mainstay, as much a part of the fabric […]

Roger and Out

I’m absolutely sure there wasn’t a single chortle around the offices of the Irish Independent when a syndicated piece from The (London) Times appeared in yesterday’s edition. The article, a disturbing and enlightening illustration of the different ways in which Austrian and British justice systems deal with cases of incest, was written by one Roger Boyes.

Something Wicked This Way Comes…

Duke Special haunts Dublin’s Olympia theatre tonight… so, apologies to all his fans (and I know they are legion), but I’ve got to say, the guy terrifies me rigid. I know it’s terribly unfair to seem judgmental about someone’s looks but, seriously, the man wants to be scary to those who have the power to resist. […]

Bill Cullen: Is It A Syrup?

It’s one of those things I took for granted when The Apprentice started. I assumed from the outset that Bill Cullen wore a toupée, that everyone would have known this and that it was no big deal. However, after mentioning this publicly today, both Una and Dan seemed shocked at the suggestion. People have since […]

Pootsie Pizza, Pootsie Pasta

There’s a vicious rumour going around (or maybe I simply dreamt it) that one of the mainstays of globalised, Muppet-centric, gastronomic mimicry is changing its name. A chain world-famous for selling so-called pizza is to temporarily rebrand to make a big deal out of its so-called pasta. I know, it sounds like the punchline of […]

A Nose For A Good Story…

Fair play to the Daily Mail hack whose feature, ‘Smart Scent’, about perfumes which “say they’ll make you seem slimmer, sexier – even more intelligent” was published today. Clearly, the commissioning editor correctly decided that any article about the miracle of scent would be best written by someone who goes by the name of Alice Smellie. Reminds […]

New Ten(n)ant Required For Best Role on TV

It was inevitable really but it doesn’t make it any easier to bear. David Tennant is to leave Doctor Who after the last of 2009’s four special editions of the programme. The versatile Scots actor, who has played the tenth incarnation of The Doctor since 2005, has decided enough is enough, saying, “I think it’s […]

Make Irony History

Brian Cowen calling for a global response to the “scandal” of world hunger; Bono to write a column about poverty in the New York Times; what’s next, I wonder? Morrissey to give a lecture on sex addiction? Gordon Ramsay to publish a book of his favourite vegetarian recipes? Robert Mugabe to write and present a […]

Something Global in Glasgow

Cherry-picking Irish fans of top UK football teams would no doubt have been in a glory-seeking lather last night as Man Yah-Noy-Reh took on Celtic at Ye Olde Trafforde, in what they probably weren’t calling ‘The Battle of Britain’. I’m sure there was much coin-flipping as to which way around the reversible jersey would be […]

My 91-year-old Granny…

…in her recliner armchair, mid-sup of a cup of tea, while watching Loose Women on STV could still have poked this in. Hail Caledonia! A 0-0 draw with Norway, grasped from the very jaws of victory. World Cup 2014, here we come.