Plastic not-so-fantastic, then

Another childhood illusion shattered, another comfort zone wrecked. Belgian punk “sensation” Plastic Bertrand has admitted he wasn’t the singer of his one and only UK hit ‘Ça Plane Pour Moi’. Is there nothing left we can believe in? This is far more devastating than the Milli Vanilli ‘scandal’ of 20 years ago. Poor Plastic (real name Roger Jouret, […]

Waiter, there’s a woman in my soup

It’s hard to believe that the boom-time obsession with spas hasn’t gone away. Glossy mags, weekend supplements and the provincial press are still plugging these idiotic, aery-faery dens of self-gratification, a hangover from what already looks like the tackiest bygone era in history. We’re already well into the first year of a new decade, and a more […]

Local investment

Lots of arms were brought to bare at the Cahirmee Horse Fair in Buttevant, Co. Cork (the oldest horse fair in Europe) last week, as stallions and mares of all shapes and sizes travelled from far and wide to attend.

Tom’s the Big Boss Man

Heartfelt congratulations to our very own Tom Gilson,who got in touch to say that he came 3rd in the Elvis World Cup in Cardiff on July 4th (won by Scotland’s Johnny Lee Memphis). Tom told IHGN: “I haven’t reached the burger years yet just trying to do my best as an E.T.A and pay respect to […]

Joachim Loew – Style God

It’s been an odd World Cup. I’ve wanted to write screeds about it but it’s outfoxed me at every level. Through flowing, stinging tears, I typed furiously about the operatic tragedy that was Italy’s early exit but reading it back, I realised that I couldn’t separate my arias from my elbow. I’ll leave that one […]

The Sound of Paint Drying

The other morning, after a night of torrential rain, my first, irritated waking thought was, “Well, if it’s going to piss down, and I have to go out in that, I just hope there are hundreds of fat, boring businessmen meeting on golf courses today.” I’ve never been glad to see the back of summer but […]

All the fun of Dunderry Agricultural Fair…

Ah, this quaint photo of village dignitaries and rural maidens from the Meath Post makes me fair nostalgic for the countryside.

The King is dead – let’s keep killing him

As we motor towards the summer silly season, our thoughts turn inexorably towards amateur entertainment. We still can’t get enough of it, it seems. It’s been no time at all since our media’s ironists had their hearts broken by Jedward’s inability to win Z-Factor – but, thanks to Vanilla Ice, Abrakebabra and Shake ‘n’ Vac, the […]

Scarlet Fever

The magnificent Fever Ray in chilling form during her acceptance speech for “Best Dance Artist” at the P3 Gold Awards in Gothenburg, in her native Sweden. Although maybe not as terrifying as some of the goons who normally given awards for doing any old amateur rubbish, it’s a behind-the-sofa moment like no other I’ve ever seen.

Getting that “sporty physique” back…

Right, the festivities are over, and that means the indulgence must stop and the power walking must start again. There’s no point in trotting out excuses about “needing a winter layer”, “defending myself against the cold with a ring of blubber” or “walking conditions are too treacherous to even consider setting foot outside” – although, believe me, I’ve tried them all in […]