Fk right off France? Fk “right-on” Hot Press

It’s hard to fathom who Hot Press thought they’d impress with their “F**K RIGHT OFF FRANCE WORLD CUP PREVIEW”. They try so hard to be seen as the elder, liberal mouthpiece of the nation’s overaged youth, with their regular, preachy articles and editorials on drugs, head shops, sexual liberation, mediocre Irish rock bands and men keeping their hair long until […]

Scrabble: now available in “moron”

The world of ‘rules’ is in mourning tonight, after Mattel announced that the forthcoming new edition of Scrabble will make proper nouns acceptable. According to a ‘spokesperson’, “this is one of a number of twists and challenges included that we believe existing fans will enjoy and will also enable younger fans and families to get […]

Hail Mary

This blog has already warmly welcomed the Green Party’s proposal to introduce tax incentives for vegan converts but not even the most militant plant-eaters among us could have predicted it would receive the support of Mary Harney TD. While I and many others are still more than a little worried about the content of her forthcoming statement on the issue, word […]

Whinge, whinge, er, “whing”…

I’m delighted to note that there’s been an outbreak of spelling the word “whingeing” correctly in the press lately. It’s one of my favourite words, far greater than “moaning”, “whining”, or even that great Scots word “girning” – which is a far more aggravated and aggravating form of whingeing. My delight stems from the fact […]

It’s only a laugh…

ROFL…!

So Far, Sphm*re

I know, Dear Reader, that I’m a persistent curmudgeon, but even reading online music reviews, as I do on a daily basis, gets me riled beyond accidental Emmerdale viewing. Today (well, like every other day since I started using the Internerd) there are two Titanic funnels’ worth of steam emerging from my ears over the dogged, […]

The Radio Contributor Cliché Drinking Game

Here’s a fun drinking game for any housebound people (e.g. the elderly, the unemployed, freelance hacks or waiters actors) sitting listening to the wireless of a morning/afternoon. Your drink of choice could be anything at all – Vodka, Mi Wadi, tea, Jeyes Fluid, the floor’s the limit, really. The rules are simple enough.

See Me! For Vandalising The Language

If anyone had any concerns over the state of education in Ireland before yesterday, they were duly confirmed at the Teachers Union of Ireland meeting in Cork. This placard, brandished here by an Enya lookalike, erroneously and humiliatingly introduces the word “vandaling” into the English language.

Please “Give It Up”, For God’s Sake

I dreamt about Fame Academy the other night. There are reasons for this that I won’t get into but it’s fair to say I woke up terrorised, breathing like a hyper-ventilating Phil Mitchell. Mercifully, Patrick Kielty isn’t on the telly so much these days – but it’s not nice that he came crawling into my head […]

Wonderful Words: Continental

Some words don’t require explanation, they simply generate emotions and stir senses all on their own. One such word is continental. It makes me hungry in the morning, it makes me long for holidays while I’m working, it comforts me in the evening. The first time I remember hearing it was when a family friend bought their son […]