“Unsavoury” Lay-by Closed in Co Tipperary

The Midland Tribune feels compelled to report (on page 2 of its April 22nd issue) that a lay-by on the N7 at Toomevara in Co. Tipperary has been temporarily closed by North Tipperary County Council due to reports of “homosexual activity”. There’s no deliberation over terms such as ‘lovers’ lane’ or any such thing, these are “homosexual” (and there’s not one use of the word ‘gay’ in the entire piece either) people, after all, and the tone is very much one of exasperated disapproval. Fortunately, the article is so littered with couldn’t-make-it-up comedy and innuendo, there’s little point in getting as steamed up as a windscreen in a lay-by. It’s hard to know where to begin, really, so here are some nice quotes from the article itself:

“‘Homosexual Activity’ Forces Council Closure Of Lay-By”

“County Manager, Mr. Terry O’Niadh, said that the Council and the Gardai have been receiving increasing numbers of complaints from the public regarding ‘unsavoury activity’ at nighttime at the pretty picnic area, which is a popular stop for families travelling on the busy road. ‘The activity goes on in cars,’ he said, ‘and there has been particularly vigorus (sic) activity over the past couple of weeks for some reason’.”

“It is reported that local people who went to investigate in the area witnessed the [homosexual] activity taking place and reported it to Gardai.”

“Cllr. Sean Creamer said that the lay-by in Toomevara is the only public toilet facility and picnic area between Dublin and Limerick on the N7.”

“Cllr. John Hogan remarked that anything that closes temporarily usually ends up closing permanently. He said that it is a sad reflection on our society to see homosexual people meeting in a lay-by. ‘I suggest you put up cameras in the area and pass on recordings of this activity to the Gardai’.”