Lor’ luv a duck! Chas & Dave are Hovis, mate…

The news that celebrated ‘rockney’ duo Chas & Dave have split up will come as a massive shock to the millions of people who had absolutely no idea they were still together. I have to admit, I was in that category myself, but not entirely due to ignorance.

For Whom The Annabell Tolls

Like many parents, I’m often concerned about the effect TV advertising has on my children. Now, this isn’t simply me being tightfisted and worrying about the ‘pester factor’ when trying to do a supermarket shop (“Daddy, can we have a Barbie? Can we have a water cannon? Can we have a Black & Decker chainsaw?”), […]

090909, 09:09am…

…good a time as any to come back, BACK, BAACK to the blog… apologies for my extended holiday, it’s nice to return.

The Pap and The Poop

This is a blog about a log. Sorry about this; I’m writing from Scotland, where the locals (including most members of my family) are utterly charmed by tales of excretion. Lots of non-Scots may think this is entirely to do with Billy Connolly and his jolly old japes about jobbies, but all he did was […]

Dead Whingers Society

Originally published on SoundsXP, 4th May, 2005 Scene 13 – The Rector’s Office, St Xenolith the Pure, Boarding School of Music THE RECTOR IS SEATED IN A LEATHER CHAIR BEHIND A GIANT MAHOGANY DESK. ENTER THE DEPUTY, A TROUBLED LOOK UPON HIS FACE. THE RECTOR PEERS OVER HIS SPECTACLES AT HIM, AS THE DEPUTY ADVANCES […]

Is This The Most Miserable Advert Ever?

There really is no way back from this one. It’s an advert for the Alzheimer’s treatment drug Remynil XL – which, when taken once daily, apparently stops the elderly from dissolving right before your eyes. Frankly, this photo makes me want to take an overdose of them.

Designate the Fate of your Pate

I love adverts for “miracle” baldness cures. They’ve fascinated me since I was a child, chiefly because my dad was convinced I’d be a slap-head by the time I was 19. In fact, everyone was convinced of this, mainly because my dad was very convincing – and talkative. As a teenager, I “articulated” these deep fears in […]

New Doctor, New Set Of Moaning Geeks…

Well, the excitement in Doctor Who-land didn’t last long, did it? The first pictures of the 11th Doctor Matt Smith and his new assistant Amy Pond (played by ‘wee’ Scots actress Karen Gillan) were published all over the British press this week as filming of the next series began in Cardiff. But there’s already a […]

The Namesake That Cheers

While reading the “heartwarming” story of Kelly Hildebrandt and Kelly Hildebrandt, the couple who met on Facebook due to some obscure similarity or other and subsequently fell into a pool of romantic gloop, I was reminded of my first forays of internet exploration into finding my own namesakes.

The Future’s Bright…

Now, I was toying with the notion of running a little competition (entirely for my own amusement, you understand) to find the most orange-looking person in Ireland. However, I stumbled upon the winner immediately during a routine glance at the Saturday edition Cork’s Evening Echo.