Designate the Fate of your Pate

I love adverts for “miracle” baldness cures. They’ve fascinated me since I was a child, chiefly because my dad was convinced I’d be a slap-head by the time I was 19. In fact, everyone was convinced of this, mainly because my dad was very convincing – and talkative. As a teenager, I “articulated” these deep fears in […]

My Lovely Horsey Weekend

JOHNNIE CRAIG GOES WITHOUT MODERN TECHNOLOGY (From Evening Herald HQ article “Cheap Tricks”, 16th April 2009) Day one: I wake up to my youngest daughter singing Barbie’s annoyingly catchy dirge (I Feel) Connected. Barbie is, of course, the ultimate consumer chick, but we’re having none of that this weekend. Our challenge is to have three […]

The Radio Contributor Cliché Drinking Game

Here’s a fun drinking game for any housebound people (e.g. the elderly, the unemployed, freelance hacks or waiters actors) sitting listening to the wireless of a morning/afternoon. Your drink of choice could be anything at all – Vodka, Mi Wadi, tea, Jeyes Fluid, the floor’s the limit, really. The rules are simple enough.

It’s Not The Enda The World

The Irish government limps from one crisis to the next and what the country needs more than anything is a strong opposition breathing down its neck. Unfortunately, we have Enda Kenny. He might be able to replace his namesake Pat on The Late Late Show for the sake of wooden continuity but, as a politician […]

About Face

Back in 2008, I had a thoroughly enjoyable stint as male columnist for U Magazine. After this article was originally published, in April 2008, I was charmed to receive a large box of male grooming products from Nivea For Men. I have just rediscovered the ‘Thank You’ mail I intended to send them but failed […]

Soap Oprah

Considering I watch too much daytime TV, I’m appalled that I didn’t think of this. There I was, flicking through magazines in the Doctor’s surgery (there’s nothing wrong with me, it’s just easier and more comfortable than flicking through magazines in Eason’s), and I came across this piece of invaluable advice in Woman’s Way’s Letters […]